Tag Archives: Disabled

Modibodi

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Hello all,

A few months ago I decided to try period underwear and I wanted to wait a while before I wrote about my experience.

It took me a while to settle on a brand and a style I was comfortable with, I settled on Modibodi. I came across them more or less straight away while looking online for period underwear. What I liked about the brand was a few different things.

First thing I liked was that they had an accessible website, I could navigate it easily, the images were clear and I could pay with ApplePay (other options are available).

The next thing I loved was that when you are looking through the different images for styles and fits the website shows you different kinds of people wearing the underwear, Disabled Women, non Disabled, small size to plus size… not just one type. So much representation for those of us who have periods.

As a Disabled Woman it was lovely to see Disability being represented on the website. This was one of the reasons I wanted to try their product. Representation matters. No they did not have the same Disability being represented as what I have, but they were still representing Disabilities. 

Three packs of underwear in brown paper packing. One pair out the box is a mont green.

You’re probably thinking, thats great but tell me about the underwear itself? 

When I was looking for a pair to buy I thought about the kinds of sanitary products I currently use. I then used this to guide my choices of what to buy. Normally I have quite heavy periods and so I tend to always use nighttime pads with the best absorbance I can find. Therefore I chose to go with Modibodis heavy classic boy shorts. These are in their overnight section. Single pair cost £26. I’ll come back to this later. I bought two pairs, one in green and one in beige. 

They arrived quite quickly and I followed the instructions to run them under the tap and leave them to dry before using them. I was so impressed with absorbency while it was under a fully running tap! The outside of the underwear underneath was dry! I was quite skeptical of period underwear, because as I mentioned my periods are very heavy and I was not sure they would be right for me.

But after seeing them hold up under running water I was quite impressed.

I have been using them now for a few months and they are really wonderful. I have mostly been using them for sleeping in but they have held up really well. They are very comfortable and I love the feeling of knowing I didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to change it because of any leaks.

The only downside is that they are quite warm for summer, but I would get that with any period product I have tried in the past. So really I think they’re great all round.

You might be thinking ‘oh the price is a bit much?’

But really when you consider how much your go to brand is, mine is normally Always, at around £3.10. Depending on how many packs you go through month you will be looking at over £110 a year. So to buy 5 pairs of that under wear is £130. But knowing that this underwear would last you a few years means you are saving money.

Not to mention the impact on the environment when you consider how many sanitary products are thrown away each year.

In terms of care and keeping them clean it is relatively straightforward, rinse with cold water and then wash. Modibodi give you a handy care guide with your purchase which is brilliant.

I understand period underwear is not for everyone and I never thought it would be for me either. But for overnight it is now my go to and I am getting used to wearing them out the house too. If you have a mixture of pads and period underwear you feel comfy with then go for it.

I hope you have found this useful. Lets normalise talking about periods.

Thank you for reading and no, I did not get free underwear for writing this. 

Ticket Office Closures

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Hello all,

I thought for my blog post I would share with you a letter I wrote to my MP regarding ticket office closures.

I am one of your constituents who is writing to let you know I am deeply unhappy about the proposal to close train station ticket offices.

As a Disabled person who relies on the railways to get to work and various other things I find these recent proposals to be very disconcerting. I am already having to use the ticket machines to get my monthly pass because I cannot top up my M card with a person on the the desk. The ticket machines are not always reliable or even accessible. My needs as a visually impaired person are not being met.

The proposals to have more staff around the station, rather than being ‘stuck behind glass’ is not one I find to be helpful as a visually impaired person. Knowing there is a ticket office I can go to and know there is someone there is far more accessible than standing in the middle of a train station trying to find someone to help me. How is a Visually Impaired Person meant to find a member of staff if they cannot see very well?

These proposals which are being done in the ‘best interest of the public’ are another money saving scheme by the train operators who are looking to cut jobs and make more money.

The staff at my local stations have always been very helpful to me. They do so much more than sell tickets. They support station users to get to their destinations, are a point of contact if they feel unsafe, they clean the stations and keep the spaces looking tidy. They work hard in all sorts of weather doing a variety of jobs to keep our station running.

Disabled people are the largest minority group and by taking away a valid service and disguising it as something in the publics best interest is a disgrace. We need assistance to travel, we need support. If these roles keep being taken away ‘in the publics best interest’ then Disabled people’s worlds are gong to get even smaller. We won’t be able to travel independently.

A few months ago I was on a train and a man was screaming at a woman. The conductor contacted the transport police and we stayed at the station until they had been removed from the train. 

Our stations and trains need staff. Yesterday my M card wouldn’t let me through the barriers even though I had just topped it up that morning. A member of staff was able to let me through. What happens when the staff are no longer there? Northern Rail don’t make the card, Metro do. Am I supposed to stand around and wait on a support line when I have a valid ticket?

One of the stations where we will lose staff after 2pm is a little out of the way. I don’t feel safe there on an evening. So when there are no staff this is one more option for me getting home that has been taken away from me.

Please ensure all ticket offices remain open, I am sure the share holders and managers higher up can do without a few extra pounds. As I don’t fully believe the money will be re invested into our railways, but rather into the back pockets of the shareholders.

I look forward to your response,
Philippa B.

Disabled people need assistance at ticket offices, to be honest it is not just disabled people. There is always a queue at my local train stations.

People want to talk to people. You cannot replace human interaction.

Please write to your MP, you have 5 days left to tell them what you think of ticket office closures.

Thank you,
Philippa B.


Local Radio

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Hello all,

Over recent weeks you may have seen a few bits online about cuts being made to BBC Local Radio.

The government wants to significantly cut local programming and create a ‘local radio’ whereby stations such as Leeds, Sheffield, York etc all share content. This is quite a simplistic view of it. But if you look here you’ll find content from BBC covering strike action.

Local radio serves a purpose and has done for over fifty years. We’ve all the radio on in the house while getting ready for work to hear any traffic disruptions, to get weather updates if it is snowing. Remember sitting and hearing if your school was closed?

This weekend was the Leeds 10K, we’ve had some amazing coverage by BBC radio Leeds about the hard work put in by the runners and other people raising money for great causes. It was also vital coverage because they talked about road closures.

During the pandemic they brought people together to share stories from local areas about the struggles we were all facing, so we knew we were not alone.

As a visually impaired person local radio is so important to me because its the main way I get my local news. I have no idea what signs are up in the station, I can’t see them. On my way to work I can’t see the giant banners telling me the main route to work is closed. I didn’t know the outside to the station in Leeds was going to be updated until I heard about it on the radio. This is then what prompts me to look for more information online.

Local news starts, for me anyway, on the radio.

When I am not feeling well, or my eyes are more strained than normal, I will put the radio on the background and listen to local radio, Andrew Edwards, Rita Ahmed, Liz Green… there are so many great presenters. But its not just them, it is the producers, the journalists who go out and find the stories in our local area. They represent the area we are in, no offence to Sheffield, but I don’t live there. I don’t know the local area, so if the new ‘local radio’ is going to talk to me about what is happening there I will feel less connected to the content.

If you have not written to your local MP yet, please write to them and tell them you want them to make some noise for saving local radio. Local radio helps our community to feel connected, we can share in the highs and lows of our sports teams, hear new and upcoming musicians as they break onto our local scene, discover incredible people raising money for charitable causes… there are so many reasons to save local radio and we must act now.

Search #KeepBBCLocalRadioLocal on Twitter to find out more.

Philippa B. 

Loop Earplugs

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Hello all,

I am back for another blog post. Sorry I have been away, again, I have been thinking about stuff to write and then I got a few ideas. So here is one of them.

A while ago I was looking around for something which could help me to reduce the amount of noise I have to contend with when on public transport or just out and about. Scrolling through twitter and intstagram I came across a brand called Loop. I remember a few friends mentioning it to me and I decided I would give them a go.

They have quite a few different options on their website and I was struggling to choose an option. They have ones for blocking out noise at concerts, for sleeping, or just everyday background noise. Eventually I settled on the Experience ones. These are designed to block out background noise and still allow you to hear conversations which are happening around you.

They have a few options for colours, I decided on the purple ones. I don’t normally go for purple so I thought I would be a bit different. It is a nice deep purple which is lovely.

Once I got them and had opened them up I was struggling to put the tips on the ends of the loops. This is because having Dysrpaxia I struggle to do tasks which are quite fiddly. I eventually got them on by just forcing it, but it was difficult to get the two pieces to align. But anyway, we got there.

Getting the train to work is an exhausting experience because of all the noise. So I pulled out the little plastic case they come in and I put them in my ears. I noticed that I could still hear the sounds of people talking and the keyboard clicks from phones around me. I was irritated and I was not happy. I took them out and then noticed the whooshing sound of the train came back into my ears. I put the Loops back in and couldn’t hear it anymore.

Another day I had to get the bus. Which again I wasn’t happy about because it is longer than the train journey. I also have to deal with floating bus stops- click here if you want to know more about how they impact Visually Impaired and Blind People. The bus journey was long and I knew I would get irritated, then frustrated quite quickly so I put the Loops in. Once again I could still hear the noise of people chattering away on their phones, but I couldn’t hear the noise of the bus speeding along. I decided to take one out. Yes, the noise of the traffic and the speeding bus returned. Putting it back in, it disappeared. 

They are pretty good at blocking out background noise but still enabling you to hear conversations happening around you.

They cost about £30 which at first I thought would be expensive, but if they work then great. They are not entirely what I set out for, but I can have a use for them when in busy environments without a lot of background noise. I have decided to try another pair of the loop earplugs to see if a different version blocks out all the noise- or as much as possible for when I am on the train.

I would recommend giving them ago as they re quite comfy and can be worn for long periods of time. The tips have different sizes and they are washable. I am just going to use alcohol wipes or soap and water to clean them.

Anyway, that’s that and I hope you have a good day. 

And no this is not an endorsement.

Saint Ives

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Hello all,

I am back. I was off for a while feeling unwell so writing took a back seat.

We have just come back from our holiday in Cornwall. We stayed in a new house this time. Whilst we were on holiday the weather wasn’t too great. But it is still Cornwall, which is lovely.

No matter what the weather the colours are always stunning. You get a lot of Artists in Cornwall, whether it’s Rowena Cade the creator of the stunning Minack Theatre or Barbara Hepworth, whose sculptures you may be familiar with if you have visited Cornwall or the Hepworth Museum in Wakefield.

Peering through two sets off rock the right side is higher than the left. The ocean cam be seen in the distance. The sky is cloudy. Shot in Black and White.

Saint Ives is full of artists and it’s an amazing place to draw, paint and just be. The lighting hits things differently in Cornwall. More specifically in Saint Ives. Even if it is raining the blues, green and greys from the ocean look tinted with silver as the light ascends on the town.

I really wish I could live there. Here are a few of the photo’s I took this last week. 

This is a photo looking out from the  headland. Peering between two rocks over the cliff. I think black and white photography can be quite intense as it shows more detailing.

The is high, the layer of rocks in front go out to meet there blue ocean. Harbour of Mousehole is in the distance, to the right side.

We went out to Mousehole to have some lunch at The Ship Inn. You can walk from a car park past the rocks around to the harbour. On Sunny days like this one the see glistens as it is struck by the sunlight. 

Being Visually Impaired I find photography to be more accessible to me, if I see something which I think I like I can just grab my phone or camera and just capture that moment.


In my blog I have tried to share a few other photos I have taken to share with you one of the things which I enjoy doing with my time.

We really enjoyed our holiday and we are looking forward to going back soon. 

CVI

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Hello all,

Today I thought I would write about Cerebral Visual Impairment (CVI) as I have not written about this in a while.

I have mentioned previously CVI is the way in which my brain and my eyes don’t always communicate with one another. This means I can be looking at something but not recognise what I am looking at. I could be walking straight towards someone and not understand I am about to crash into them.

The CVI society describes it as ‘Cerebral Visual Impairment (commonly referred to as CVI) is a form of visual impairment caused by the brain not being able to process information from the eyes passing along the visual pathways in the brain. It is the commonest cause of visual impairment in children in the developed world.’ CVI Society, 2023.

Another issue is that I can’t visualise in my head what people or places look like. This makes it exceptionally difficult if I need to go somewhere new. I cannot go somewhere new independently. For me to learn a new route I have to do it a number of times. Even then I will still struggle.

A good way to think about an area of CVI, for me anyway, is to think of it as though you have gaps in your memory. It is just blank. Nothing there. I don’t know if this is a feature of CVI, but it is something which I experience.  

These elements make life quite daunting and very challenging. However there are ways around things. As I say, doing new routes multiple times. When you go out and are with someone try break down descriptions of that person. For example, what colour jacket are they wearing?

Tiredness absolutely has an impact on my vision, as I am sure it does for all of us. But for me when my eyes are tired I kind of go into auto pilot. This is where my cain is important. Because you are putting your safety  in the hands of tactile thinking.

My left hand holding out my long cain in front of me. Ahead of me is the sea on the beach.


The other day I went to get into the taxi, but I didn’t realise until I was about to open the door that someone was already in it. This is where it is very dangerous because you don’t always see things, sometimes until the last minute.

CVI is only one of the conditions I have. Please check out CVI Society for more info.

Thank you reading and checking in. I hope my musings have been of interest. 

Scoliois and Chronic Pain

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One of the areas I frequently blog about is Scoliois because I am living in constant pain. The pain does vary day to day, but it is always there. 

At the moment I am sat in my comfy chair whilst trying to rest my back. I am wearing 3 layers, one if which is a long hoody which is quite fleecy. The chair has a throw over it so no cold air can get in where the arms of the chair are. I am considering putting my dressing gown on. Hang on…I have my dressing gown on now.

One of the problems I have mentioned before is the change in the weather causing me to have long periods of pain, mostly occurring more profoundly over the winter months.

I wish more people understood chronic pain.
I wish people understood that I take painkillers on a daily basis because that is a way for me to manage my pain.
I wish people understood that I do go to physio and I do have a sport massage to reset my muscles.
I wish people knew I can’t just get on with it without adapting my day to suit my pain.

Chronic pain will always be there no matter what I do. Also just because you have the operation done to correct a curved spine does not mean that the pain will go away. It will still be there in some form.

For those of you living with the impact of Chronic Pain, remember you are not alone. Your frustration and anger surrounding your pain is completely valid and I also know that hearing this does not make it any easier.

Knowing what can make it easier? I really don’t know.
This blog was just written because I am having a pain day and wanted to write about it. I wanted to share my thoughts to get them out there. Scoliosis is a difficult thing to live to live with. Especially when you were told as a teenager it wouldn’t get any worse and you probably don’t need the surgery…then when you’re in your twenties you’re told it is severe…. What are you left with? Anger… frustration… sadness…. But hay ho…. We carry on.

Thank you for reading my musings. 

Rugby League World Cup

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Hello all,

Hope you’re well.

Over the past few weeks I have been enjoying the Rugby League World Cup. The world cup is being held in England which is amazing because I don’t have to worry about time zones and missing any games.

I love rugby league and soon as I knew England were going to be hosting I wanted to go to a game. My brother bought us tickets for a semi final at Elland Road for my Birthday, my Birthday is not on this day. Then I got a new England shirt designed for the world cup.

As we all know the pandemic hit and the games were moved into the next year. Now they’re finally here I am able to enjoy all the rugby league I want.

One of the best things about these games is that they are all happening at the same time, Men’s, Women’s, Wheelchair games and for the another first the Physical Disability Rugby League World Cup. Which England have won. Which is incredible.

As a Disabled person who is also a woman this makes me very happy. The BBC and the RLWC organisers have ensured that all major games are being shown across the BBC. This means they are getting air time to all games. Showing everyone that Rugby League is a game for all.

Next Friday we will be setting off into Leeds for some food and then going to Elland Road. I am really excited. I am aware that as a Visually Impaired Person it might have been better to watch it on TV so I can see and have the commentary. But my brother got us great seats, not too far back and close to the try line so we should see some amazing tries. Plus when you have an opportunity to see a World Cup you take it.

Over the past few weeks I have been following on Twitter and the fans are really getting behind the games which is great to see. We’ve also had some amazing commentary from some incredible legends of the game such as Robbie Paul, as a Bulls Fan this has been great to have him commenting. Tanya Arnold has been brilliant with championing the game in general and I’ve enjoyed her commentary throughout.

I have also found Andrew Voss’s commentary to be brilliant, not just on the pitch but his V ratings of some of Englands finest foods- he didn’t get all the extras when ordered a kebab so he rated it as poor. He was told he would need to order it again add the sauce and salad. Vossy also loved the ever humble Greggs sausage roll.

The other first which I have enjoyed is Kasey Badger refereeing a mans game for the first time! Incredible work and the responses to this on Twitter were incredible.

Me and my friend were going to watch the first women’s game at Headingley, England v Brazil….but unfortunately we were both working. I watched Australia v Cook Islands on iPlayer for their first game and the tries just kept coming! Pelite just couldn’t be stopped.

Can you tell I love rugby? If you want to see more about this incredible World Cup of firsts follow this link.

As I say the commentary has been wonderful and I have really enjoyed it. I love rugby and the community within it. Here’s to the start of the Wheelchair games this evening. Claire Balding is out supporting the team as she is the President of the RFL Council. Come on England!

Are you enjoying the rugby? Let me know.
Twitter: @PhilippaB

Travel to London

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They forgot about you.

It has been a long time since I have visited my brother in London, the last time was before the Pandemic.

We decided when would be the best time for me to visit then I booked tickets to go on the train. First we had to phone for assisted travel as I am Visually Impaired and need help navigating my surroundings. I have Scoliosis and need help carrying my bags.  Once we had booked the assisted travel I had to book tickets. This required phoning a separate number. We got the trains booked and I requested tickets be sent to my house. The assisted travel booking came through by email.

Going to London using assisted travel or coming back from London has always been stressful for various reasons.

For those of you who don’t know, assisted travel is a service offered to train users who are Disabled or who need assistance with their travel. You phone up, or use the Passenger Assistance app and you tell them what you need assistance with, when you are travelling and what your Disability is.

The Friday came for me to go to London and my mum took me to the station and we let someone know I was there. The lady was very helpful and told us to take a seat. We waited and a man came over to help me onto the train. He took my bag and helped onto the train. My mum got on too. He guided me to my seat, put my bag up overhead and explained where everything was and that there were people getting on at Doncaster who would be sitting next to me.

My mum and the member of station crew got off. A lady came up to me from the Grand Central train crew and introduced herself. Finally the train set off and we were on our way.

Arriving in London I messaged the family group chat so my brother could see that I was there. Even though he was watching my train come in.

Everyone got off the train and I stayed sat down. I looked around and I couldn’t see anyone who was coming to help me. I was getting stressed. I messaged my brother.

Just to make clear, when you are waiting for assisted travel they tell you that you should never be waiting more than 5 minutes for someone to come and help you.
The other thing to note is that the assisted travel arrangements are with the station crew, unless something happens along the journey and then the train crew help.

A few moments later I heard some voices and the cleaner came bustling down the aisle emptying bins and tidying up. She noticed me and asked if I was waiting for assistance. I said yes and she said she’d be back. Messaging the group chat again I wrote what was happening. The lady came back and said she had told the driver.

This is the best bit. The driver contacted the station staff who had forgotten about me. Well done Kings Cross.

A man came on to get me and he didn’t introduce himself he just said ‘is this your bag?’ We went to get off and when we were on the platform he didn’t offer me his arm so I could be guided safely. He was carrying one small bag with clothes and another tote bag. But he should have guided me. He should have introduced himself with ‘Hello my name is…’

A little further down the platform the train crew caught up and said they would help me get to the barriers. I took their arm and we wandered down the platform. I explained I was meeting my brother and what outfit he had on.

We met up with him near the barriers and headed down to the tube.

I will post separate blogs about my weekend.

The Monday morning came and we got the bus back to kings Cross and arrived half an hour before my train.
The station wasn’t too busy and we made our way to the Assistance point. The lady radioed through to let them know I was there. She radioed again. She radioed again. By this point I was again getting stressed. Finally after a while the LNER lady just said she’d do it herself.

She was very nice and explained we were in no rush and we will just wander onto the platform. She saw the train was in and we got on. Again she directed me to my seat. I said goodbye to my brother and sat down. He messaged in the group chat that I was on the train. 

A tote bag and my folded up long cain on the train table.
All ready to go London

We mentioned what happened on the way down and how I was left. She apologised and said she would ring Leeds and let them I was on the train.

When I arrived at Leeds I stood up once everyone else was off and a man in a blue Northern Rail jacket approached me and took my bag and helped me off the train. We got to the Bradford train and I explained what happened at London and he shook his head. But I pointed out I have always had great service at Leeds and  Bradford Interchange (and Forster Square). I sat down and had my bags next to me. The conductor asked where I was going to and I said Bradford. He said he was changing there so if no one got on to help he would assist me off the train.

Once we stopped at Bradford a man got on and grabbed my bag and helped me off the train. I sat down outside the barriers and waited for my Mum.

Every other station was brilliant, I have always had great help at Bradford and Leeds, their staff are lovely.

At Kings Cross I was left on the train, there was no assistance to meet me to help me board the train to come home. So someone else had to do it.

Staff who do the job of assisted travel should have Disability training. This is why it is not OK that someone else filled the gap. The lady who helped was lovely and seemed concerned about my previous experience and genuinely wanted to help.

This kind of scenario happens far too often and this is why I do not like travelling independently. I am Visually Impaired and use a long cane to navigate my surroundings. I cannot just get on a train and go where I want. The assisted travel service which I and many others rely on had let me down on parts of my journey.


When you are Disabled you are reliant on others to help you. These services are in place to enable us to get around and be independent. However they let us down more often than you think.

Then there are the people who do a great job in these stations who hear these stories. They are also being let down because they are doing an amazing job, but then others are letting them down by not doing their jobs properly.

As I mentioned before the staff at my usual stations are brilliant and are always on hand to explain and assist me with my journeys. The lady at Kings Cross who got me onto the train was very helpful. The cleaner who notified someone I was still waiting was helpful.

But none of that should have happened. It should have been smooth, the assistance should have been there. As Disabled people we are tired of raising the concerns and seeing others go through it time and time again. But because we are Disabled and a very marginalised community the outrage is minimal.

Imagine you can’t see very well and you have constant back pain due to a curved spine. How would you feel being left on a train when you had booked assisted travel before hand? The thought that if someone wasn’t there at the other end meeting you and had no one to also help you raise your concerns and ensure someone was helping you on your journey ?

It is not acceptable. If you have experienced this before please leave your comments below.

Nystagmus Awareness Day 2022

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Hello all,

Happy Nystagmus Awareness Day!

What is Nystagmus?
“Nystagmus is a complex eye condition, characterised by involuntary eye movements, from side to side, up and down or round and round. This affects the ability to focus, see the world in three dimensions and recognise faces.” Nystagmus Network.

How does it affect me?
For people with Nystagmus they have something called a null point which is a point at which they can hold their heads to reduce the amount of wobbling their eye does. Nice and simple… not really. It doesn’t stop the eye from wobbling and for myself this causes other problems, linked with Scoliosis.

If I have to hold my head at a certain angle to be able to reduce the eye wobble and try focus on something my neck will start to hurt. Which then spreads into my shoulder and then my back. This null point is not in keeping with what my posture needs to reduce the constant pain of Scoliosis. Therefore I just have to make the most of a bad situation.

How I see.

One thing which I think people would be interested to know is, what does the world look like to me? 

See the difference? It is as though there is constant motion and nothing ever stands still. I describe it to people like this ‘Imagine you have a terrible headache and you are stood up on a roundabout which is spinning. Then add to that by having to move around on the roundabout and stay stood up.

Does your head hurt? I know mine does.

Another problem for those of us who have Nystagmus is that we struggle to recognise faces. For children this can be stressful because if they can’t locate their parent in a crowd, they become stressed or panic.
This problem of recognising faces does not go away or improve as you get older. When I am out meeting friends I cannot see them until they are a few feet in front of me. Even then I may not be able to tell it is them.

How can you help someone with Nystagmus?
You can send them written information in formats they find accessible, meaning large font, or in a preferred colour. You can let them know in advance what coloured jacket you are wearing when you meet up. Or say exactly where you will meet them.

If you have any questions about Nystagmus you can drop them below and I can answer from my own perspective. Please check out Nystagmus Network for more details.

They have a wealth of information and they are really beneficial.

Remember you can follow me on Twitter @PhilippaB.